“I looked around and thought about my life. I felt grateful. I noticed every detail. That is the key to time travel. You can only move if you are actually in the moment. You have to be where you are to get where you need to go.” – Amy Poehler
Often times we take things for granted not realizing it’s true value in our life until it’s taken away from us! There have been so many things that have changed within me and around me since May 2018. It would be safe to say that my whole life turned around and all I could do is sit back and watch it happen! I guess the most important thing that I am still missing in my life is my personal space and my freedom! The freedom of walking up to a nearby Starbucks to grab a quick coffee or walking downtown with friends to grab some dinner from our favorite Thai restaurant or just being with my own self in a quiet library and doing my own thing without being watched or asked anything at all!
I guess my growth towards learning or rather understanding what gratitude truly means, started after my very first experience with the car skidding over ice back in the month of February! My uber ride gave me a 360* view that morning.. LITERALLY! and God only knows what would have happened that day if we had a car ahead of us or behind us or both! BUT, there wasn’t! Luckily nothing happened to me or my uber driver or the car and we escaped the horrifying incident! The second incident I would say would be the day I got back my PET scan results! Although, I was an unfavorable stage to begin my treatment with, I was only a stage II a. Don’t get me wrong, Hodgkin’s is one of the highest curable form of cancer even at stage IV but, no one would wish for an advanced stage as that would also mean an advanced form of chemotherapy.
It’s funny how God has his own way of making you realize and think of things at his own time! If anyone would ask me how I felt about everything that was happening to me 5 months back, I would have expressed how deeply saddened and angry I was and how I wanted to give up already! How badly did I want everything to go back to normal and how badly did I want to start my professional life just like everyone else once they graduate! But, now that I have had so much time on hand to peacefully sit by myself and just think of all the past events, I am grateful indeed! I am grateful to have been able to realize that something was wrong with my body and be able to catch my cancer at an early stage. I am grateful that there wasn’t a need for any surgeries on my body and that my body was able to tolerate the scariest forms of treatment there is with grace! I am grateful for my diet, my blood levels and my stamina but, most importantly, I am grateful for being ALIVE!
If at all you take anything from this blog, doesn’t matter if you are a cancer patient or not, if you are going through a tough time in your life or not, just take a moment to appreciate and be thankful for the little blessings in your life, the people you know who care for you, your health, your mental health, your job, the food you eat or the clean water you drink and the fact that you wake up everyday being your self remembering who you are and where you are, because trust me, feeling like your own self is a boon!